Friends x Gratitude

a little short update and some visuals. went out with Jolene today after heading to school to pay for the tickets for TDA. was supposed to pay for the penalty of not going for sailing but the LBS requested for the school to absorb the cost for me. it was a relieve that i didn't have to pay but i felt guilty because i do see their stand as to why am i wrong in the first place. but now that this whole hooha is over, i must say that there are some lessons that i have learnt. Other than understanding that i am now a grown up and i need to handle situations more responsibly and to do everything personally, i also felt that ive seen more about the truth behind "friends". But ill elaborate more later but first, some visuals.

PAUL is a restaurant at Takashimaya and i must say that it is another MUST TRY place. It is a little pricey, like the amount of food we had plus a pot of tea cost 45 bucks. This is prolly the first meal that I had with Jolene that have exceeded 20 bucks per person but i must say that it is worth every single cent of it. We had a

Salmon salad,

 Lemon Meringue Tart, 

Original Napoleon Tart and

 a Pot of Vanilla Tea. 

The salmon salad is really good, i like how the salmon is roasted and not smoked. There are alot of places that serve smoked salmon with salads, which i felt to be a tad bit too salty. But this salmon is super nice and they have like this French beans i think, which is totally delicious!The lemon meringue tart is good too, tho i would say i prefer the lemon meringue cake at C&C. Nothing about the lemon flavour, they are both rich in that sense. but because this one is tart, the flavour change is a little abrupt. So i just prefer the cake version where the lemon flavour linger throughout the entire mouthful. But still, it is still pretty good! (its just my personal preference. dont mind me). The original Napoleon is a MST TRY. although it is not one with very fanciful flavours, but it is super good. I don't really like sweet sweet things, but this was exception. the top layer was super sweet but when ate as a whole, the entire mouthful of the pastry was just divine. So guys, the next time you are in town and have a little bit more cash to spare, remember to drop by PAUL!

i didn't take any OOTD today, but here's three of what i took ytd.

met up with Catherine ytd and as per normal, we didn't take any photos. so its just my face. So happy to finally meet her!!! i just felt that she is always the sister from another mother. Like really. The way that she thinks and speaks is so similar to my biological sister. No wonder they get along so well. Speaking of which, i should ask them both to go eat zhajiangmian soon. Anyways, see the second picture? that was my very vain attempt to be a little more "blogshop model" like. But erm, a bit awkward. okay not abit but very. kiss my chance of being a model goodbye~ and say hello to awkard turtle chewlin. Guess that non-headless ootd will only appear on my blog from now on i guess. Or maybe none at all. The first photo is my usual face when i take my ootd. so you tell me, how to not crop out that face? make the entire photo so awkward only. hahahhaa.

Okay, so the main focus of today's post is : friends. and this post was inspired from my convo with Jolene. I realise whenever i talk to her, i always get inspirations to blog. or even if im just randomly talking to someone and a topic comes up that makes me think. This shows i should talk more to people right? right.

so anyway, let me ask you this: are you someone with no friends, a few friends, or many many friends? Do you make friends because you have no choice? or do you make friends because you are trying to be popular, or because you enjoy making friends? okay, actually i dont really care. what i wanna ask is: How many friends have you opened yourself up to? How many of them actually know who you really are? How many of them have you given the chance for them to know who you really are?

Friends are very important people in your life. they back you up when you are down, they speak up for you, they stand by you and most importantly: they tell you when you are wrong. We meet many "friends" in our lives too, all those that aren't true. but i just felt that all of us should be a "true friend" to someone else. Be true to others, and so others will be true to you. it is just that simple. Humans arent that insensitive. They have their instincts too. When you are genuine towards someone, they feel it too. But of course, you can't please everyone in the world. and thats when making friends come in handy and a super important skill.

Its not about making use of your friends as a tool when i mean "come in handy" or "skill". what i mean by handy is that because there is another person in the world that knows who you are, you save yourself from alot of misunderstandings. making friends isn't just saying "hi nice to meet you" but its about letting others the chance to know you.

I used to close up upon myself, and only started to make friends in poly. im very lucky in a sense that even though i am a little awkward, i decided to let it go. and because my dance partner is jolene, i actually talk to people in her clique. and as i talk more to people, i gain more confidence to talk to even more people. but, of course, i can't please everyone and there will be people talking behind me. I mean, im not a saint. and through the years, even tho i am only 19, i realise that i cannot just be a Miss goody two shoe because life isn't a movie. I cannot be nice to everyone. Because not all the people are nice to you just because you are nice. Yes, i say to be genuine. but if you realise that you are being taken advantage of, then stop. Or rather, start protecting yourself. you can still be nice and offer help, but don't ever just keep things down and cry. find a way and get your message through to the person and tell them you are uncomfortable. tell them to stop and tell them that you are willing to help only if they stop crossing the line. but then again, the irony is that when you start being mean and talk to them abt being unhappy, some people say that you have changed. such a confused world. not that it happened to me, but it isn't entirely not possible eh?

well anyway, through this whole hooha, i realise that i am very blessed to have friends, and i feel that i am lucky that i spoke up and opened out to people. Because in this way, i let people know who i am. you don't need to let alot of people to see who you are, just a few. but you need to let many know that you mean no harm. Like take me for example, i am someone with a very short temper. and my temper come and go very quickly. when my temper is at its highest point, i cannot control my words. and sometimes, it creates misunderstandings. like i text when im really angry then maybe consecutively ones are not tt angry and more relaxed but it still sound angry. but it is only because it is texting and you can't see me, thats why you don't really know how i sound like. even if you talk to me face to face, you might not even know if i am really angry or not. But mostly when i am really angry, i dont talk. when im annoyed, i blabber alot. and it gets on people's nerve. i know. ill get guilty for what i said because it sounded angry, when im not.

then, i cannot go around explaining to every single people that i mean no harm. i mean it will take me ages to finish explaining. but because i have friends, they know how i am and they help to speak up for me. I mean, imagine if i didn't make these friends, what more misunderstandings would there be?

For me, i don't see my friends as just friends. I feel that when i treat you as my friend, you are another person that i have selected to open up to. You will see nothing but only the true me. you will see my bad and my good, my maturity and my childish, my insane and sane modes. many many sides of me. i don't hide from people (other than when i break down. but then when i blog the whole world knows. so it makes no diff). Because my mom always taught me to make more friends instead of foes, i attempted to live by that. and also, make friends genuinely but not because you want to make use of them. make friends because you sincerely want them in your life. Yes, there are times when you meet friends/people who arent even genuine about being your friend, but that shouldnt deter you from making friends. Because there are many out there who are genuine.

Friends are the ones, other than your family, who will know you. They will know your patterns, your temper, your actions and what they mean. They are the one who will back you up when you need help, and they will stand by you. this entire semester has been a really tough one. but it made me see who are my friends, and make me see how important it is to have friends: by being genuine to them. not just making friends for the sake of it. but if you don't open up to people, no one will know who you are. no one will know if you might have a reason behind your actions. how do you expect them to help you? on what basis can they help you? on the basis that they see you everyday? no. you need to open up to them. help them, make them know you are friendly, not another scary human being in te world, make them know who you are as well.

To all my friends, i thank you for being there for me. For standing by my side, for showing me what is right and what is wrong, for backing me up without a second thought. i know that i am a weirdo who prefer to stay at home and i seem to be busy 24/7 such that i have almost no time for you guys, thank you for still being there, for trusting that i have never and will never disregard you, for being in my life. i don't know how long our affinity will last this entire lifetime, but trust me, i will never forget you guys.

p/s: i know it is nonsensical again.
pp/s: its okay, but you made it to the end.
ppp/s: thank you for reading. 

xoxo,
x GeeCeeElle x