A penny for my thought.

Perhaps some of you who follow me on Twitter (which makes up mostly my friend) you would have known that i have in the past tweeted something about being intimidated by two man at Bugis Station, pestering me for a donation. well, here's what exactly happened.

I was standing alone waiting for my friend to come when out of no where,this guy who was holding on to a bunch of keychains and a board saying that he is someone who is running on a fund raising campaign as part of the Yellow Ribbon Project. He claimed to be someone who has just been released from jail and would like me to donate generously to him (read: minimum 10bucks) as an act of supporting the project and give ex-convict like him a second chance. And may i add that his tone was extremely intimidating. As he was speaking in Chinese, i instinctively told him that i do not understand Chinese (in which is a pleasant and polite way to get these people off my back because i simply do not look Singaporean Chinese anyway). He stomped off angrily, probably upset that he had just wasted a couple milliliters of his saliva talking to me. As i thought that it was over, i was proven to be wrong shortly after he left. I would suppose his companion, who realised that i had given the excuse of being unable to understand Chinese, stomped (literally. he was like flash+hulk) up to me and started to explain to me in English all over again. At this point of time, i was very annoyed at this disturbance. But then, my annoyance was turned to horror as i realised he was holding on to this little girl, who he claimed to be his daughter. Now then, i have never seen anyone who was on a fund raising program who carried a child around, neither do i think that it is appropriate to do so! Of course, i did not donate in the end. But that incident left an impression.

Here's another story before i move on to the point of today's blog.

I was at NEX with my mom after our dinner and as we walked towards the entrance near OCK, we saw this man seated in an extremely uncomfortable position in his wheelchair. I would assume that his condition was due to some genetic illness or probably an accident. But no matter what, it seemed really serious. He was crunched up and his hands were in a distorted position. To sum it up, it is a scene that anyone would feel sympathetic for. What caught my attention was that there were little kids going up to him (looking completely terrified) and slipping notes of 5s and 10s that their parents have taken out of their wallet to give it to him. Yes, it is heartwarming to see that the younger generation of our world is being compassionate (though i have my questions about this method of educating the children about being compassionate but i shall leave the comments later). But as i walked past them, i took a closer look and realised that he wasn't even able to hold on to the notes. The kids left them on his lap and just left (still looking terrified and unknown of what is going on). But what further sparked a blogpost on this was what my mom said: "He's pitiful, isn't he? Being alone in the mall in that condition. We must count ourselves lucky. But come to think of it, how did he even get there?" That sparked a whirlpool of thoughts and here i am going to write them out one by one.  

And for the record: I am still guilty and ashamed of myself coming up with all these argumentative thoughts and yet just watching them by aside not doing anything to help them. It doesn't make me a saint just by typing these. I know. 

Disclaimer: Purely my opinion and you do not have to agree or whatsoever.

The two stories are pretty different  but then, i can't help but questioning the same thing in my head, which links them together. Are we people really being compassionate or are our compassionate nature being taken advantage of? Okay no bashing me of saying that the man in wheelchair is trying to win sympathy points to get money and i do NOT imply that because he's no beggar. let me explain.

Here's a little side track based on the yellow ribbon project person. For all that i know in my little peabrain, i do know that the yellow ribbon project aims to help people who are ex-convicts to gain a second chance in their life. Which is a perfect idea.We are all taught to give people a second chance. This society discriminates against people with a police record, simply because they have made one mistake big enough to send them to jail. But we are forgetting that we are also taught to give people a second chance from young. Weren't we all taught that if we are willing to turn over a new leaf, we deserve a second chance? If you are a parent, haven't you told  your child to apologize for whatever mistake he has done before letting him off? If you are a teacher, haven't you once told your students to apologize to one another after doing nasty things or getting in a fight to make things up?For people in a relationship, haven't you taken back your partner after they have done something that get on your nerves or maybe even cheated on you? They are all mistakes in our lives, but we all let it go after a sincere apology isn't it? Yes, you can argue that these are mistakes that are so trivial it doesn't matter at all. But we are all humans. We all make mistakes. Just because they are adults who made a mistake in their life, doesn't mean that they do not deserve a second go in their life. They have already gotten their punishment and are entirely remorseful. Isn't that enough already? Besides, if there is anyone who is not willing to let them move on with their lives, i say it would only be the family of the victims or rather the victims themselves. But that we do not have any control. The hurt may have been that grave on the victims that it scarred them so hard. Then it is up to the ex-convict to make it up to the people he had hurt in the past to regain their forgiveness. As for us, as long as we can see that they are remorseful and learn their lesson, i say we all should give them a second chance. After all, we are only Humans and humans make mistakes. More importantly, humans shouldn't make things hard for another person who hasn't done anything wrong to them.

Back to the main issue today, are our compassionate nature being taken advantage of? I am pretty sure many people have already given into the people of these "Yellow Ribbon Project" fund raisers, hence increasing the confidence of these people to continue what they are doing. And then about the man who was at NEX and kids giving him money to help him: While we are really thinking that we are helping them, take a moment and think: are we REALLY helping the people who need them or are we just feeding people who are living off our compassionate nature for the less fortunate.

Think about it.

The Yellow Ribbon Project Guys. We all know that we all speaks of giving people a second chance. But what have we done other than discriminating against them? Give these guys 10bucks for a keychain? Ya right. As if that goes to them.

An extract i got off the site of the Yellow Ribbon Project:

"Important Fund Raising Notice


Many of supporters have come forward sharing encounters with individuals who identify themselves as reformed offenders or volunteers trying to sell key chains, soft toys and ice-cream.
We would like to reiterate that the Yellow Ribbon Project nor Yellow Ribbon Fund is not conducting any public fund-raising and we have not authorized individuals or groups to do so in public on our behalf.
Acting Culture, Communications & Youth Minister, Lawrence Wong recently announced the SMS verification service for members of public to check against existing fund-raising activities. Charity organizations who are licensed to solicit funds in public would be granted a Collector’s Certificate of Authority from National Council of Social Service, or a copy of the police permit. Individuals can verify the authenticity by either scanning the QR code on the permit or sending in a SMS to MCCY Charities Unit"

And these people who make use of our sympathy for these ex-convict to earn a living. shame on you. Futhermore, that guy with the kid. It entirely immoral to be carrying a kid and forcing people to take money out of their wallet to help people like you who are entirely fitted for a decent job but refuse to do so. I don't care if the kid is yours or not (i hope she is. Or maybe not. she deserve better parents), i only know that no child is supposed to do this with you. Let's say you are really an ex-convict who cannot get a job due to people discrimination, but that doesn't mean a kid is required to be dragged with you. It merely shows how hard you are trying to draw sympathy from people. with the use of a child. And to make matter worse, you might not even be an ex-convict. You are merely just making use of the sympathy of others to earn money the easy way out.

And how does this link to the guy in the wheelchair? well you see, that guy is prolly incapable of wheeling himself to that random spot in nex. Maybe he is using the automatic driving wheelchair. But who made him go to nex and left him there. While one side of the story shows the heartwarming scene of younger generations being taught on how to be compassionate for people that are less fortunate, i cannot turn a blind eye to the plausible heartbreaking side of the story where a family or some immoral person who left him there just to draw sympathy from the people and for the very same reason: Money Donations. I mean, look at it, in his condition, is money really gonna help him? He couldn't even hold the notes. I would say buying him a meal is more appropriate. He might have been there for hours, he might have been starving since he was being left there. But i cannot explain the disgust i get when i think about  the people who used him as a bait for donations. Maybe the story wasn't like this. Maybe his family was helping him buy food at Food republic or Bengawang Solo. But why would you leave him alone in the middle of the mall near the entrance where there are so many traffic going on? What if he needed the toilet? What if he was knocked over by some people who simply didn't see him? Why would you leave him alone there? And to add on, his wheelchair was blasting hokkien song that would have attracted alot of attention and indeed he was left there long enough to attract attention for many kids to come up and give a donation to him.

Are we all really helping? Giving that 10dollars to that Yellow Ribbon Guy, even if he is really authorised to do so, does it help? Will it help him more in the long run than just simply accepting them back into the society so he can get a decent job? Wasn't Yellow Ribbon Project about helping them to get on with their lives? How many 10 dollars can we give them? And those parents who pushed your child to help the man. Are you educating your child to be compassionate and sympathetic, or just telling him that money solves everything? The way my dad taught me about being kind and helping people is more than just providing financial support. He bought an old granny a packet of rice and ordered whatever she asked for, without even showing a tinge of unhappiness, no matter how much she requested. My dad showed me that helping people doesn't mean giving them money.

And then, are we being taken advantage of? Being on a few of voluntary work, i would say that the sense of happiness that fills me when i see that the smiles of the people i talked to and helped, even just by playing games with them or speaking bad hokkien as an attempt to be closer to them
, is something i would not exchange for in my entire life. Many of us say, yes we feel compassionate for the people who are less fortunate. But then, are we really helping the people who need them? With the compassionate nature, it is easy to draw sympathy and money. Are we really clear of who are the real ones and who are the frauds? While we are happily thinking that we helped someone by giving a donation to some random guy who approached you, or someone who was sitting near the streets begging for money, are we really helping them, or helping the bigger minds behind them?

I know that helping someone doesn't require much thought. Why do I want to doubt someone's motive if i am sincere about helping? It is a lame excuse for me to be selfish you say. But the thought of people using it against us to their benefits scares me. Do the right thing and help people through the correct way. Volunteer, donate through official portal. I just hope that all the frauds realise that what they are doing is immoral and unacceptable. Living off someone's misfortune is not acceptable and is pathetic. Its really devastating when i find myself contemplating to pull out my wallet or not to help people. I shouldn't be doubting. Don't take away the faith i have in the society, and please let people who really need the help, get them.