TOO MUCH PROCRASTINATION.

what else. I'm still the queen of procrastination. common test is next week, and I'm still blogging right now. nope, I'm not gonna go back to studying later. instead I'm going to sleep. while many of my coursemates are gonna mug the night away. talk about procrastinating.

but no. it's not because I'm intentionally procrastinating. My brain is really too saturated with chemistry and cell bio. and the fact that I've been staying up till 1am for the past few days have aggravated my eyebag problem. and stress has made my hair fall problem so much worser. :(

sometimes, I wish I didn't score well right from the beginning. but most of the time, I'm comparing myself with others. I make myself try very hard to win people. I make myself try too hard. but I need to realize I'm not superwoman. neither am I someone who likes studying, despite it being the only thing that I've the slightest achievements in so far in my life. I need to stop comparing myself. I need to stop letting this perfectionist part of me get the better of me. it's pressurizing me way too much. even though I can tell people 'I don't cares fail then fail.' trust me. everytime I finish that, I get the same reaction my friends give me. 'shut up. you are not gonna do that. you can't. and you won't. so just shut up. stop being a hypocrite.' yea. that's my internal conflict.

I have this thing whereby I have lots of moments of dilemma and I scold myself yet say good things to myself at the same time. it's like the angel-devil moments in cartoons. I feel like I have spilt personality.

common test is next week. I really pray that I don't screw up things. please and brain, I beg you. stop pressurizing yourself subconsciously and causing hair fall to worsen.