#KILLMEPLEASE

first day back in school, and I suddenly feel like I can't breathe. too many things, too much procrastination. it's no longer about too little time, I know I can have more time if I wanted to, but the fact that I'm here, in my four hours break, and still watching a movie instead of studying, makes me know that the problem lies in me. procrastination. me. I need to quit this procrastination really. I MUST.

really, I hope someone can slap me or I can find courage to go and bang my head on the wall, hard. I need to wake up. wasn't that math quiz one good wake up call for me? and now that CTs are probably screwed up too, can I still be so ignorant about it? probably not. guilt will probably eat me up, but I won't change. I'm just such a stubborn bull.

TDA's competition, IJC,VBALL competition. and finally exams. I need to get past all these. exams are coming in around 1 month plus, and I'm still procrastinating. I think, I was thinking too highly of poly life. people before me, tell me that poly is fun, you meet people, you have fun. but now? what I'm experiencing is, attempts to do well, attempts to have fun and the plan isn't going so well.

sissy's engagement is in December, yes I'm looking forward to it, but then again, I'll need to get past so many obstacles to reach it.

CTs result is gonna come back tmr. not holding much hope towards them. #killmeplease