#LIKEALONER

hey people. back for a second posting for today because im just too bored. waiting for dancesport to start and right now, at the convention centre blogging (you dont say) hahahas~

read my book just now at the library, alone. read my book again at ourspace, alone. ate at Makan place, alone. today i seriously emogirl95 luh..and time is passing so slowly! :( can fast forward to six like now? im so tired and sleepy and the taste of kaki fuyong still in my mouth, making me wanna sleep even more. okay, no link, but after you eat you will feel like sleeping right? right. and now that i see everyone here at the convention centre, all with work to do and im like blogging away. chewlin ah chewlin, when can you stop being such a procrastinator?!

sometimes, i like to be alone(when im at home, though). but seriously only sometimes. seeing my friends having places to go, friends to hang out with, and just having so much fun is just... proving to me how no life i am. i wanna go out with my friends too, but when i want to go out, they are not free. or when they ask me to go out, im either too tired or too busy. then my friends start going out without me, and i start complaining how no life i am and how my friends 'abandon' me.

i find myself very weird. and very annoying these days. like im annoying for getting annoyed at trival things and im weird for feeling so.. weird. idk. but the present state of my mind, is at a mess. poly semester one aint a very good start. and i find myself clinging onto the past when they have new stuffs, or trying to cling onto the present, when they apparently have more than me to attend to. i dont know why, but im feeling so left out and lagged behind again. it isnt how my friends leave me behind, because i know they didnt, but about how i try to push myself to be ahead. its getting tedious. and im tired.

AISH. When is this feeling gonna be gone. i need to stop feeling so insecure and empty inside. im not turning back into that attention seeker i used to be. 

okay, gotta stop thinking so negatively. its just so irritating that i think too much AND put myself in a bad mood. and it always happen without fail, whenever im alone. and given the amount of time im alone, you can probably guess that im pretty much a girl with minimal smiles. but im improving on that alrdy. i want that happy little girl in me to come out again.

so its 5:01 now and approximately an hour more to dancesport. im praying very very very hard that Jolene will come school earlier. not like now, but earlier. im getting way too bored and tired. *yawns*