What Does It Mean To Be A Girl

well, to sum it all up in one sentence (fancy starting a blog post with a conclusion, what writing style is this.)

Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this tough either

Im not saying that being a girl isn't good. But honestly, there is too much sterotyping about girls around. Like... Girls like pink. Dude, okay maybe i am a 3/4 guy and i can't see what is nice about pink, but not ALL girls like pink. I dont hate it but i dont like it either. and regardless of me being called or make fun of being a 3/4 guy, i am biologically, physiologically and clinically proven since the day that i was born or rather, even before the day i was born when i was still in my omma's womb, i am a girl with a V-. (okay sorry, but hey its true okay. you tell me that's gross and i will stuff a biology textbook up your arse) and i am telling you that it is really hard and tough and annoying to be a girl. I am not sure if ANYONE is gonna agree with me. But then, this is just what i think it is la. so, disclaimer: everything here is purely MY opinion, with no intentions of insinuation of any sort nor hurt anyone in any way. Understood? okay let's move on. 

So basically, i feel that being a girl is really tough, but sometimes i really wish that i can just go like "okay, today i don't wanna be a girl" but then i don't want to be a boy either (imagine all the restrictions to the clothes you wear in comparison to girls). The only time i want to be a boy is when i am craving for food, like oily fried tasty food. Because i dont know why and how that they have such high metabolism that now it is all the boys are like super duper thin and the girls are the ones with bigger build. My leg is like bigger than 3/4 of the guys that i know okay! (okay fine... i don't know alot of guys but it makes a difference. okay? okay.) so here are 5 things that i think that being a girl isn't good. and prolly just one on why being a girl is good. you will understand why i only need one point later. hahahahahaha!

1)PERIOD

Yes, i know i have to be thankful that i am having it because it means two things. One, i am not pregnant (not that that is any way possible since i am like single and unattractive. bwahahaha) and two, i can get pregnant in the future because my reproductive system is working fine (and that is after i find someone who finds me attractive. Mission Improssible: Boyfriend Protocol. I should prolly give a speech during my wedding and go like "Mission Accomplished!!" sounds awesome. hahaha). But then basically, that period when you are having your period (oooh~~~ double meaning) is like hell. Like i see Jolene and my sis bending over and in so much pain because of cramps, which i do not get them somehow. But i get a "warning" cramp like 1-2 weeks BEFORE my period. Like huh? what do you want. but it only last a day or half, if im lucky and it starts at night when im going to bed. I always go to bed early when i have it. Sleep=No pain. bwaahahah. and also, the tummy area will bloat up like there is a baby vampire in there growing faster than anyone can explain why (cue bella scene infront of the mirror touching her bulging belly). Well, here's a summary of what is happening during periods: 

don’t you hate it when you’re in class and your uterus just goes,and you’re just like:

 

 okay yknow what, i can't find one tumblr post that describes period that doesnt have the F word in there (can you sense the agony from all the girls to use vulgar. Okay maybe not vulgar is like everywhere.) but i insist not using it because i do not see the need for vulgar, regardless of how much hatred or agony i have. hohoho. But basically: 

1) Tummy bloat till you are like pregnant 

2) Cramps till you are like crawling to school or everywhere and when you are on the bed you just squirm into one ball.

3) Cravings to eat everything (literally everything. i eat anything edible i can get my hands on when im on mine)

4) That immediate "HELP ME CHECK MY SKIRT" and bending over till you sprain your neck just to check if you have stained your bottoms or not and immediately rushing to the toilets to clean it up and then returning to class like you just peed on them. 

5) That mini heart attack you get when it comes unexpectedly and goes like "Hey how are you doing? Im here to visit, right on the day when you decide to wear a white bottom! how nice of me"

6) and the next mini heart attack when you realise you ran out of sanitary pads and you have to discreetly go like "psst. do you have like... 'bread'?" and getting misunderstood by some people who doesn't know what you mean and go like "oh you are hungry? we can go to the bakery just down the road" or people who are too friendly and go like "HEY ANYONE HAS A PAD? MY DEAR FRIEND HERE IS ON HER PERIOD AND SHE NEEDS ONE" 

7) Unexplainable emotional instability 

8) PIMPLE OUTBREAKS. why you do this to me.

9) That Niagara Fall you feel everytime you sneeze or jump or cough or just have a SMALLLLLL out of the blue violent action

10) That awkward moment when you are are opening a pad in the toilet and that it goes like "ZIAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" and now you know the entire world knows you are on your period

and lastly................................................You just want to kill everyone

I mean, i dont hate periods because i know it is normal but.... get this: 

why not? it will be so much better than this. but oh well, its how my body is... so salute to all the girls who have been under the torment of period since years back and have to continue for the following years till you are 50. but i kinda pity the boyfriends and boy-friends out there too, having to tolerate us on period cos we literally turn into a monster. and i know we are really mean during it and all the boyfriends in the world have to suck it up and not explode during that period. and they have to be on their 101% alertness to not step on our toes. hahahah. salute to you guys too.

2) Not "that" Girl

 

okay so next is of course the lengendary (wait for it) image problem. Its like.. all the media and all. its not about being who we are yknow, im getting sick and tired of trying to be someone else. Don't tell me that "oh, you can always NOT try to be someone else, but it is hard. With all the media and all, how can you expect us to try to be like one of them? Because everyone wants to be perfect too, and perfection is insinuated to be like Miranda Kerr, SuiTang and all. but then again, how many of us can really be them? Just take me for an example, im like a complete person on the left, and i really really really wanna be thin because im so sick and tired of being bulky and big build. Now now, don't tell me:

 "OH MY GOD CHEWLIN ARE YOU LIKE BLIND. HOW ARE YOU BIG BUILD" 

yknow i didn't think i was big build either, i thought i was a petite one. In secondary school, i was one of the shorter or average height girls. But imagine coming to poly and all your closest friends are like petite and thin, petite and childlike, petite and doll like. Its just so unfair that when im placed next to them, i am like a giant. and that is basically why i hate my body so much, Because being around them makes me feel disgusted about myself. and i dont want to go away from them because it is not their fault to be petite and pretty, but its not my fault to be a giant either. So i try to make myself "petite" too. But im 5 ft 4.5 inches. How to be petite you tell me. I didn't even realise that i look like a giant until one time i met my friend at a bus stop without Jolene and he went like "actually you quite small sized, but why during dance you look so huge?" well, in comparison to Jolene, of course i look huge. and other than not being petite and thin and pretty, imagine immersing in a place where people are taller than you, skinnier than you, better looking than you. geez this world has lots of super models i swear. and here i am eating fishball noodle and stuffing my mouth till i can't speak. i was never "that" girl, but not that i want to either. Being in the limelight is never my kind of thing. I rather blend into the lockers. But it seems like trying to blend into the back ground is to be like the rest, who are all model lookalikes. its like finding a hippo in a whole bunch of giraffes yknow. 

and what's worst is that you are not "that" girl that your crush likes. omg i tell you that is the worst. not that i have any crushes (i have trust issues with relationships now, not with the other party, but with myself) now, but imagine what it would feel? i mean like im so afraid to be caught up in that situation yknow. all my guy friends like petite girls. and im like here "hello, im a pumpkin because a potato is too small to describe myself" and i see alot of guys whose girlfriends are like petite. Maybe because it gives them a sense of being a real man? like protecting the girl they love. yes, there may be a guy out there who likes people like me (please do.) but who knows there might be another girl who pops out and is 100000000000x better than me and there im gone, left on the shelf. as much as i don't mind not getting a boyf, well, i have to prepare myself for future reunion dinners to be like "oh i dont have a boyf". read awkward~~~

being "that" girl is a silent and unspoken rule. No one really speaks of it but actually everyone feels it. its called INFERIORITY. not having clean skin, not fair enough, not skinny enough, not tall/petite enough, not graceful enough, not girl enough. well, those are the terms and conditions that the V- comes with (sorry again). But whatever, im here in my PJ and saying out loud: 

WHATEVER LA. NOT GIRL THEN NOT GIRL LA. I WANT MY BEN&JERRY ICE CREAM AND NOT SALADS. 

Oh just kidding. im like everyone else. 

"Hi, one set of salad without dressing please"--Me on Monday. 

and the war with being "that" girl begins. 

  

3) Relationship Woes

alrighty, relationship woes. but actually i can't really talk much about this also. Im like only attached once and it turned out badly because i don't know how to be a girl and yea. but basically, what i actually see was that a girl in the relationship is the one who is the caring one, the loving one. but i do think it should be both ways and in some cases, not too much of lovey dovey. maybe this relationship woes only applies to me, because im like too manly to even be a proper girlf. hahahaha. Like seriously. oh well, ill just wait for someone who makes me wanna feel like a girl again or someone who will accept me for who i am. this point is actually more applicable to me. because i realise there is something wrong with me. Idk how to be the girl of the relationship. i know different people have different definitions and all. but yea, im really a trouble. and my worst weakness is like not knowing how to play the role of a girlf. but is there any rule to be one? no right. i should be unique. so now i just made this point in valid. but its okay but ill just make up the numbers. people who know, will know. so to divert the attention to that im actually diverting out of topic ("thats a fail from Cambridge" cue Ms Gan's voice),to my future boyf/husband: 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/loren-bolilan/2014/01/9-things-my-next-boyfriend-should-know/ 

it is 101% accurate to what i think. but its not everyone who might just agree with this. so yea.

Good Luck. 

4) Wardrobe Wars

well well well, we are in this topic now. it is really awesome how we can wear so many pretty clothes and nowadays, they are really sold cheaply online. i like to do online shopping because they are alot cheaper than usual shops. well, they dont have to pay rental anyway. the only thing they have to spend additionally is advertising. rental is so expensive. But then, while everything is so cheap online, everywhere basically sells the same thing and while there is media influences, everyone wears the same clothes. i used to hate owning same clothes as my friends, but i changed my ways. haha. now im fine as long as i do not wear the same clothes as my friends on the same day. It s so awkward isn't it. Sometimes i see strangers with the same clothes as me, i just want to find a hole to dig. but then idk why girls would feel this way tho. guys who wear same things just end up being bros and laugh it off. but for girls, its a huge taboo. so its like a war between girls:  

look better than others, but not the same, and never worst. 

okay la. i know some people bochup one. don't bash me.

 also, every morning we would be flipping through our wardrobe and be like "there is nothing to wear today!!! and " I need to shop" where your closet is like so filled with clothes that it is about to explode already. but then, what we feel is actually that there is no clothe in the closet that can make us feel the best on that day. Every girl has a different mood each day (we are soooooo unpredictable), and we all want to look best each day. but then clothes don't come in THAT cheap either. maybe this day i feel like im feeling fat, i need a clothe that can cover tt up and make me look slim, but all my jeans are accentuating the fact that i have a huge hip. get that? its a wardrobe war every morning!!! well, for me, my wardrobe war is actually because i cannot bear to wear my new clothes, because i feel that i look ugly in them. like i buy, but i don't wear. ya i very weird but then there is no fweel to wear it! like i feel i will look like a flop so i just never wear lo. then ill wear my old clothes which looks like ... thats why i have little ootd so far. like i could have easily 20+ ootd. i actually do take effort to take ootds almost every day if there is time. but i don't upload them that often because i feel that my outfit isnt nice enough. all those tt i post is like i really think they look nice one la. and im gld to hear from people that say that it is nice too. phew. hahaha so back to the topic of not nice coordinates, and then after being upset that my outfit wasnt nice again, i will have another wardrobe war AGAIN the next morning. i envy people who are rich and can buy nice clothes (and afford slimming packages) and they have like the best fashion sense in the world. sigh. wardrobe wars, you'll be the death of me. 

5) Politics

WAH WAH WAH. THIS ONE I TELL YOU. THIS ONE DAMN POWERFUL ONE. cannot take it. it has been around since like primary school, more in secondary school. yknow girls ah, they can never make to be huge groups. there is always CLIQUES. and yknow what cliques means? politics. not to remind anyone or anything, just speaking from experience, it is so annoying to be involved in girl politics. because basically, when one person doesn't like you, the ENTIRE clique doesn't like you. or worst, the entire class turn your back on you. i have been in one, or maybe two situations where the entire class girls or some cliques just turn their back on you. back then, i have acted like miserable like "I NEED MY FRIENDS. THEY ARE MY OXYGEN" and also, you cannot be friends with the person that your bff doesn't like. not that my bff doesn't like anyone but just saying. its like... countries fighting each other yknow. and i know my poly class has ALOT of girls and basically a hell lot of cliques. BUT, WITH A HUGE BIG BUT, I THANK MY CLASS FOR NOT HAVING ALL THESE DRAMAS ANYMORE. i do not need anymore dramas seriously. girl politics are childish and nonsense. So what if you don't like me or her? it doesn't make any sense to do things to them just because their existence annoy you. Why isolate people? i mean if that person is mean to you, and you wish to isolate them, then go ahead. but don't make others do so too. girls, are scary. seriously. i see all the dramas and im like "how do people survive high school like this? if i were them, i would have committed suicide." but then again, it is shows, idk if there is any truth behind it. tho im pretty sure once or twice someone would have been involved in something like this. and let all the snickers and smirks and "diao"(do secondary school students use this? idk.) begin. Now, im like whatever. IM FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE I WANT TO. i used to be quiet and all, but i do find myself being more comfortable talking to people now after being in poly and working in the service line. and its getting out of control that i need to stop myself from talking to much. it is draining alot of energy from me and i get home so tired. but regardless of which, less talk of me, girls politics is what girls have to face at one point of a time. be it you are the weaker one where everyone hates, or the stronger one where you hate on people, or the wandering soul like me who gets pulled into it but you have no idea what is going. with girls, there is competition, with competition, there will be politics. competition of popularity, beauty or whatsoever. live with it. thats how it is. or turn 3/4 man like me and you will find yourself inner peace. ommmmmmmm.

and the one last good thing is that: 

*We are girls*

i would say that being a girl really does give you advantages. my mom always tell me that it is easier to get a job when you are a girl, because people tend to think (stereotype again) that girls are more meticulous and especially in service line, more persuasive. i mean you try to get a guy to sell clothes to woman, i doubt they can persuade them that quickly. and its easy for girls to persuade male customers too. like somehow girls' words are more persuasive when it comes to retail. you don't see alot of guy salesperson around when in town (or rather i dont). but of course, there are exceptions. also, being a girl helped me out of alot of situations. my words tend to come out without me thinking, and then ill flash my brightest smile and get away with it. heh. if not i dont know i get beaten up how many times already. 

Also, if we look at the above 5 points in a different perspective. Periods means we can get pregnant. which means we get to share 9 more precious months with our own flesh and blood that no man can ever have (exclude the man who gave birth). and not being "that" girl might be good too. then maybe we will be able to really find one who love us for who we are, and not because we have boobs and butt and petite and pretty (yes it will be tougher but look on the bright side guys. look on the bright side). besides, one can never be perfect. you are short, you want long legs. you are tall, you want to be petite. But at the end of the day you gotta accept yourself too. its not gonna be easy, but it will be worth it. Relationship woes also the same. you will just keep finding till the day you find someone who will accept all your weird logic. wardrobe wars, well be happy tt we can actually get clothes that are pretty and diverse. look at the guys clothes, there really aint that huge diversity and damn their clothes are SUPER DUPER UBER EXPENSIVE. i think if i were to open a blogshop, ill do a male version and try to import pocket-friendly apparels. i see all the guy clothes and im like *gulp* so expensive!!! i can buy like 3 pieces with their one piece price. and also lastly, politics. well politics help us see who are our true friends that we can keep right? i've found mine and i never want to let them go. also politics is a test of maturity. do you want to continue the politics and stay foes or be mature enough to say "hey, enough. let's talk it out. even if we can't change anything (like if you hate my face then what, i go do plastic surgery?) at least lets just be strangers with no hate eh? so politics actually help you to grow too. 

all in all, 

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE GIRLS.

there will be shit that girls have to go through (which is different from guys). but hey, quoted from the true Queen B (beyonce) :

WHO RUN THE WORLD? 

GIRLS!

stay girly(the irony im saying this), fellow girlfriends! <3