Scream Happiness. Whisper Hatred.

since i just passed 18, i shall do a blog update. okay just kidding. im just writing cos im bored on the bus. bored while waiting for NP50 to start. and so damn bored.

okay so, for the past 18 years. I only have clearer memory for around 11-12 years. for like 0 years to like 6 years old, I forgot what I did or do. all of those were vague impressions. I only remembered that on kindergarten, my grandparents took good care of me. my family doted me even tho I'm like the spoilt brat at home. (confession: still am, but trying to change.)

a huge part of my childhood was in my grandparents house. my grandma took care of me for the first few years. she would buy me dolls, give me sour plum to eat, and make the BEST TEA ON THE ENTIRE EARTH FOR ME. i remembered that once she bought me a doll, i was so happy i hugged it to sleep. and while i was sleeping, i felt someone tugging on to my doll so i held even tighter. and then i heard my grandmommy chuckled and said 'silly girl.' and everytime the lightning struck and thunder roared, she would call out for me. and ill go running to her. and she would just hug me and pat me on my shoulder to calm me down. and i loved to hug my grandmommy. she is so huggable and cute. but in the last few years of it, she went to take care of my cousins, so i was left in the care of my grandaddy. and my granddaddy would always fetch me home from the kindergarten. where he will always say 'come we walk a new route today.' but actually it was the same route we took two days ago but I couldn't remember. and was so happy that we were going on a new 'adventure.' and of course, going home to the delicious food granddaddy cooked. he never once let me even have the chance to tell him 'I'm hungry.' he knew my eating habits and prepared snacks for me. and if I ever said I liked a certain food, I would be able to see it on the table for me for the next couple of days. till the next time I said another food was nice. and then he will buy that food. he had a mole on his face. and my sister and I love to play with it. we would go up to him, and press it and act like it's a door bell and say 'dingdong!' or I'll laugh whenever he would do his signature fart and scare our house cat scrambling away. those were the fun times.

of course, my parents and sissy played a huge part in my life gradually. as I grew older and older, I gradually stopped going to my grandparents house when my mom finally gave me my key. but when I was in primary school and kindergarten, even through to secondary school and even now, my dad was always there for me. he looks very fierce. but he's actually like a teddy bear. he always ALWAYS fetch me to and for school. even when i had work at mango or esprit. and no matter how late. he would send me. there was once he waited 4 hours for me. just so I can go home earlier than sharing cabs. and he didn't say a single word. and he doted on me and my sister alot. my mom too. he really treat the three of us like precious. my mom. she's naggy. yes. but she meant well.. nowadays she don't even nag. now she's more like a friend. always cooking dinner for me, always talking to me. and most importantly, always being there supportive of me. and then there's my sister. although she finds me completely annoying. hahahah. since young, she have been saving me from troubles. hahaha.


and then i went from kindergarten, to primary school, to secondary school and now I'm in poly. friends come and go. from kindergarten, I remember shitian my friend, and how some kid bit me for no reason. then in primary school I have xinyi, huiying, kwangwee, Joyce... and so many more. then in secondary school, then there's so many more.... now in poly, there's even even more.


okay so what I'm trying to say is that. things come and go. people enter and then leave. I've said before that cherish people who are in your life now and thank them for being there even tho they left. so obviously that's not gonna be what I wanna say.

okay. so what's with my title. and this long long long blog. okay so other than ranting about my life, I just wanna say that other than cherishing, forgive and forget, we need to Scream Happiness, Whisper Hatred. look at the sudden attention us public are giving to the recent fallen star, look at haters hating on xiaxue's baby. why are we doing this? why are we hating? why are we only showing the care and support when they are gone? why can't we just stop hating?

life is too short to hate. I used to dislike my mom for nagging. I used to dislike my sis for scolding me. I used to dislike hat girl who outcasted me. I used to dislike that person and people who make me so miserable at least once in my life. but what for. I ask you. what for. read my above paragraphs about my family? you know what, my granddaddy isn't here physically with us anymore. my grand mommy is old and would be so prone to accidents. like that time at the cemetery, how she fell and hit her head. that moment when you see her bleed, your heart just ached. my father and mother has grown older. my sister has gotten married. that girl who outcasted you may be outcasted by someone else. that person who made you so miserable, may not have had things any better for themselves either.

people go. so quickly that they just slip through our hands. they just exit. you have to stop hating to gain more friends and family. and only then when you scream and share your joy, it will be double the happiness when you realise that people around you are genuinely happy for you.

Scream Happiness. Whisper Hatred.
Forgive the person, remember the lesson learnt.


'cos when there is desire, there is gonna be a flame. and when there is a flame, someone is bound to get hurt. just because it hurts, doesn't mean you are gonna die. you gotta get up and try try try'